Classifying a tribe called 'Friends'

Last month we celebrated Friendship Day. When I say ‘we’ I mean the adolescents of our planet earth primarily concerned with hormonal changes and pimple problems, the young adults primarily concerned with career growth and promotions, the adults primarily concerned with tax skirting and property acquisition and of course Archies who made their usual buck by overcharging us for flimsy toys and sugary candies and overtly sentimental cards. ‘We’ does not include the senas of the world and the ‘I-am–beyond-this–foreign baloney’ sons of the soil

So, on this occasion or rather the occasion that has passed this year but shall arrive again next year to empty our shallow pockets, I made a humble attempt at classifying the tribe of friends we encounter in our endeavor to align to the ‘man is a social animal’ theory.

The Adventurer
This is the one to whom all the exciting things happen, be it getting free gift vouchers for participating in a silly survey at a mall or a chance meeting with Lara Dutta at an exclusive pub. The one who goes on short trips to Mexico and treks the Sahyadri in monsoon.

The Adventurer’s life makes yours look like a cactus living in the corner of a teacher’s backyard. The one you want to hang out with but never get to meet, because you always get his answering machine saying’ Hi, I am currently on vacation , leave a message and I’ll get back’ He never gets back !

The Whiner
This is the type whose sole ambition in life is to crib about anything and everything. Tends to finds fault with everything including his wife’s cooking, his cousin’s father-in-laws dogs barking, Angelina Jolie’s lifestyle and Sonia Gandhi’s hairstyle.

Tends to make absurd statements like how the failing monsoons have contributed to the loss of his sister-in-law’s cousin’s hair in Sidney. To be avoided if one is in a good mood or on one’s way to a party or movie.

The Informer
The information hub of everything conceivable. Is affectionately nicknamed named “Wiki’ by grateful recipients of trivia that he generously belts out. So, if you want to know what that nerdy guy in your biology class is doing right now, where you can get the best momos in Bangalore, who is Jennifer Aniston’s latest boyfriend or where can you get the best vacation deal to Goa - ‘wiki’ is the one to go to!

The Inquirer
Born with an insatiable curiosity, the Inquirer will tirelessly ask questions both personal and otherwise without any trace of embarrassment. What’s your salary? Where did you get these earrings? Did you see Sahid’s new movie? Are you seeing anyone? What did you do on Sunday?
Is a modern day adaptation of yesterday’s grandmother minus the wrinkles and the ability to make aam ka aachar.

Would be interesting to see how the Informer reacts to the Inquirer.

The Philosopher
Passes through life with an air of superiority and an open mockery of anything remotely materialistic. Easily identifiable by his long hair and flowing kurtas. Show him your new blackberry and he will look at it with disdain, then at you again with disdain , deeply sigh and make a comment ‘Ah, the price of connectivity! How much profitable to spend a day in the tulip fields and commune with nature ‘. Loves to debate on anything under the sun and tricks you into unwanted debates by asking ‘Define Success’ while you unsuspectingly tell him about the new job you just got.

To be tactfully handled by giving a copy of ‘Corpus Aristotelicum’ kept handy for such occasions

Copyright (C) 2009 Neha Shinde