An unexpected rain shower

Yesterday, we had an unexpected shower of rain in Bangalore. It was amazing ! Since the past couple of days we’ve been enjoying an incredible weather.There’s a little chill mixed with the damp air and just the right amount of freshness.

I’ve been rushing often to our rooftop cafeteria just to feel the cool breeze and watch the traffic below. I am a little concerned that the café guy might think that I am totally jobless, but it isn’t often you get such wonderful weather at this time of the year.

I love this city. With its funny idiosyncrasies, its cosmo lifestyle, cheap eateries and expensive restaurants. It's traffic...It's never-ending Traffic!

I love it's Sukh and Shanti sagars !

I love it that there is a place for everyone here no matter where you come from; I love it that there are no Thackerays here claiming it for their own. I love the young call center and IT professionals eagerly crowding Forum & Garuda malls on weekends.

I love its crosses and mains ! Its parallel roads and thousand alleys.

I am learning to love its auto drivers ! Learning ..

I love it that when you stand on MG road, you’ll hear a babble of tongues muttering at least half a dozen languages.

And I love it even more even more when it rains at unpredictable times!


copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

Das, our friend

I was talking to a friend the other day and he said something very interesting -“some friends are forever and some come for a season”

Das probably came for a quarter of a season.

There was a time in Pune, when I was waiting for my MBA admission and had nothing to do, so I took up a filler job at Aptech as a counselor. It was a branch office and thus a very small establishment with just a handful of staff including, Das who was the office boy. Well, boy would be a misrepresentation since he was married with a 3 year old daughter.

Since it was a pastime job, seriousness had not set in me. In fact all of us working there were young and doing this as a stop gap arrangement.

The center was recently established and IT as an indstry was going through a slowdown, so we didn’t get too many students and had plenty of time to ourselves. We used to have a gala time exchanging stories and experiences during lunch time and tea time.

That’s when Das’s skills as a story teller would surface and he would enthrall us with his various past experiences including one as a movie theater projectionist. He had a very animated face and did an excellent job of imitating people that had us in splits.

One of my fondest memory of the place is, the whole gang sipping on chai and eating Parle G biscuits while listening to Das narating an exciting story.

Though he was an office boy, he was extremely intelligent. In fact, he learned MS office just by listening to the lectures we conducted for our students and practicing in the lab. He spoke reasonably good English and loved going out. He would always turn up in the flashiest of clothes for any outing we had. He was all for fun and adventure.

Soon I moved out of Aptech and so did most of the gang, we tried keeping in touch via emails and phone calls (this was before Facebook took over the cyber space) but it’s not always that easy and soon drifted apart.

But thanks to a friend’s initiative of reconnecting, we got back in touch and that's when I came to know that Das had passed away a year ago. He was dancing in some Ganesh procession, got a heart attack and died.

Just like that.

Sometimes I feel sad that none of us were there at his funeral or with his family in their grief. But then, I console myself with the thought that the last image of Das in my mind will always be that of a slightly plump man with an infectious grin and an expressive face recounting yet another of his numerous fables.

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

A tryst with destiny !

They say opportunity knocks only once and it’s often when you are taking your afternoon siesta.

My chance of a lifetime slipped by me, a few years ago when I was doing my MBA in Pune.

One boring day, my classmate and I decided to play hookey and go for an afternoon of shopping on MG road.

After a couple of hours of making our wallets lighter and our backpacks heavier, we headed towards Marz-o-rin, the sandwich place for a bite.

We were walking through the lonely lane adjacent to Marz-o-rin and as usual, I was talking nineteen to dozen with my friend R, who was patiently (and I suspect inattentively) listening. It was while I was in the middle of a passionate plea for improving the kanda pohe served in our college canteen, R suddenly stiffened and gasped.

After a second, she grasped my hand, gave one glance backwards and whispered, “Did you see him?” Seeing my blank look she whispered more urgently “It’s HIM, Sanjay Leela Bansali ! He just walked past us “. Well, she actually said “ Sanjay Leela Bengali” in her excitement. But Bansali is a Bengali so, I’ll let it pass.

I turned around and saw the back profile of a man with a Marz-o-rin bag in his hand. But I had serious doubts that the famous director would be roaming the streets of Pune on a sunny afternoon and conveyed that to R. But she insisted “Don’t you see, he also has a pierced ear, that’s him definitely”. “Maybe someone who looks like him” I replied still unconvinced.

Then I did something that R still hates me for. I cupped my hands and in the direction of the retreating figure yelled “Yoooooooooooooooo, Sanjay Leela Bansali , are you ? Bansali Bansali, I don’t think so “.The figure stopped, turned halfway, (Enough to let me know it WAS the famous director) turned back and walked away.

Stunned for a moment, we slowly made our way to Marz-o-rin and found the whole place in a flurry. (This was just after Devdas was released, so the hype was understandable). Many of them had his autograph and all that.

R gave me a pained look, and unhappily commented if I had not made such an idiot of myself in front of the director, we’d probably be admiring our autographs right now and boasting about meeting Bansali to our future generations and maybe also starring in a Bansali movie as a Bansali discovery. I had a tough time convincing her that I was not out to sabotage her film career and finally pacified her by giving her my favorite silver hoop earrings she admired.

Well, R is happily married now , Bansali discovered Sonam Kapor and poor me has only a 'near-meeting' with Bansali in my kitty.

So, in case you meet the man, tell him he owes me a pair of silver earrings !

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

A Noble Thought

Just when you thought Europe had turned over a new leaf and had given up playing practical jokes, here comes another one- Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize!

Not that I am complaining, It’s been a while since I accepted the indubitable fact that it’s not a perfect world. If Bill Gates can receive the Indira Gandhi Peace Prize why grudge the man his Nobel.

The unabashed sycophants that we are, we decided to meet the man himself and get his reactions on this surprise win.

Over to MS, our corrospondent at the White House…

MS: Congratulations, Mr. President. This is another notable achievement in your political career. How do you feel?

Obama: To be honest, I don’t even know how I got there. A few months ago, I was filling some forms which I thought were for a free trip to an amusement park called ‘Notably Noble’. The kids wanted to go somehwere and I figured this was a good place.The next thing I know is I get a Nobel prize ! I tell you, my staff is so careless.

But of course, my advisers tell me my official stance is, “I am deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel committee”, about whom you must tell me more about someday.

MS: Well, anyways it worked out good for America. A lot of people think you are not a worthy recipient. What’s your take on it?

Obama: What nonsense, who is more worthy than me? I am THE orator; in fact my wife calls me orator Obama. Actually, she also calls me sugar baby , but I am not getting into that. Anyways, my speeches are just what people want to hear. In fact, I am a tad annoyed that I did not get the nobel prize for literature as well. My book ‘Audacity of Hope‘really deserves more respect that what it’s getting.

MS: Talking about your wife, what does she think?

Obama: Hehe Michelle rarely thinks. I thought she made it pretty clear by her earlier speeches. But yes she thinks we need new bed spreads and our living room lighting could do with some enhancement, not to mention the garden design. She also insists on a wardrobe change, which I think a lady has a right to. Yes, she is excited about the million dollars.

MS: After the Noble, what does Obama aspire?

Obama: The Grammy of course , you should hear me sing in the shower ! I rock, baby I rock!

Yes ...You do rock Mr. President! You rock !

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

Out of Office

I was recently reading a mail on funny out of office messages and it made me wonder what the OOO messages of certain celebrities would be. Take a look .....

Ramalinga Raju – Hi, I am not in office anymore. But the time I was there I had a field day taking the investors, customers & employees on a trip! I will respond to your mail after I am back, that is if you haven’t killed yourself over the falling Satyam share prices.

Anil Ambani – I am out because of some gas problem.. no no its not THAT gas, its the other thing- gasoline. I will reply once I have made a bigger fool of myself in print and on television.

Shahrukh Khan – My name is Khan and for the record, I dislike airports, especially the ones in America. Anyways, I am not in office. In case you have any ideas on how can I get media mileage over trivial issues, I might consider replying your mail.

Jaswant Singh – I am not in office and it’s not my fault. It’s the crappy management- they are just not open to new ideas, whatever happened to secularism. Anyways, for any updates please follow me to my new office in Pakistan.

Dawood Ibrahim – I am on extended business travel and have intermittent access to email. I will reply to your mail once these interpool guys are less active.

Shahid Kapoor – I am forry I am not in office. Bufy with promoting my new movie. In cafe you want more information on my new movie 'Kaminey' , please call my fecratary and fhe will affift you.

Ekta Kapoor- Kyonki I am not in office, and you have a Khwaish to get in touch with me, but its your Karam that I am not there , so requesting you to wait patiently for my reply. I will reply. Kasam Se.

Harbhajan Singh- I am in the field watching some monkeys...No , not the cricket field, I mean the khet in sadda Punjab.And the mail you sent me better be important or else my right hand might just get out of control again.

Raj Thakre - I am out making crazy speeches at a Maharashtra Navnirman Sena meeting . If you are mailing to find out our navnirman plan for the state you are wasting your time, we don't have any . However, if you have any suggetions on how to make Maharashtra ony for Marathis , I will get back to you . If you are not a marathi manoos my goons will get back anyways.

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

Classifying a tribe called 'Friends'

Last month we celebrated Friendship Day. When I say ‘we’ I mean the adolescents of our planet earth primarily concerned with hormonal changes and pimple problems, the young adults primarily concerned with career growth and promotions, the adults primarily concerned with tax skirting and property acquisition and of course Archies who made their usual buck by overcharging us for flimsy toys and sugary candies and overtly sentimental cards. ‘We’ does not include the senas of the world and the ‘I-am–beyond-this–foreign baloney’ sons of the soil

So, on this occasion or rather the occasion that has passed this year but shall arrive again next year to empty our shallow pockets, I made a humble attempt at classifying the tribe of friends we encounter in our endeavor to align to the ‘man is a social animal’ theory.

The Adventurer
This is the one to whom all the exciting things happen, be it getting free gift vouchers for participating in a silly survey at a mall or a chance meeting with Lara Dutta at an exclusive pub. The one who goes on short trips to Mexico and treks the Sahyadri in monsoon.

The Adventurer’s life makes yours look like a cactus living in the corner of a teacher’s backyard. The one you want to hang out with but never get to meet, because you always get his answering machine saying’ Hi, I am currently on vacation , leave a message and I’ll get back’ He never gets back !

The Whiner
This is the type whose sole ambition in life is to crib about anything and everything. Tends to finds fault with everything including his wife’s cooking, his cousin’s father-in-laws dogs barking, Angelina Jolie’s lifestyle and Sonia Gandhi’s hairstyle.

Tends to make absurd statements like how the failing monsoons have contributed to the loss of his sister-in-law’s cousin’s hair in Sidney. To be avoided if one is in a good mood or on one’s way to a party or movie.

The Informer
The information hub of everything conceivable. Is affectionately nicknamed named “Wiki’ by grateful recipients of trivia that he generously belts out. So, if you want to know what that nerdy guy in your biology class is doing right now, where you can get the best momos in Bangalore, who is Jennifer Aniston’s latest boyfriend or where can you get the best vacation deal to Goa - ‘wiki’ is the one to go to!

The Inquirer
Born with an insatiable curiosity, the Inquirer will tirelessly ask questions both personal and otherwise without any trace of embarrassment. What’s your salary? Where did you get these earrings? Did you see Sahid’s new movie? Are you seeing anyone? What did you do on Sunday?
Is a modern day adaptation of yesterday’s grandmother minus the wrinkles and the ability to make aam ka aachar.

Would be interesting to see how the Informer reacts to the Inquirer.

The Philosopher
Passes through life with an air of superiority and an open mockery of anything remotely materialistic. Easily identifiable by his long hair and flowing kurtas. Show him your new blackberry and he will look at it with disdain, then at you again with disdain , deeply sigh and make a comment ‘Ah, the price of connectivity! How much profitable to spend a day in the tulip fields and commune with nature ‘. Loves to debate on anything under the sun and tricks you into unwanted debates by asking ‘Define Success’ while you unsuspectingly tell him about the new job you just got.

To be tactfully handled by giving a copy of ‘Corpus Aristotelicum’ kept handy for such occasions

Copyright (C) 2009 Neha Shinde

A whiff of the past

Yesterday, I bought a perfumed deodorant from Nilgiris and its fragrance (citrus and floral) immediately transported me back to my college days in Belgaum when I swore by ‘Oriflame ‘

It’s uncanny, isn’t it? How certain smells bring specific memories and time periods to your mind.

Like every time I pass hawkers selling flowers on the footpath and I get a whiff of jasmine fragrance , I get reminded of my early childhood in Sholapur , where my dad’s sisters used to wear jasmine flowers ( called ‘gajra’ in Marathi) in their hair.

I love the smell of frying onions :) , I think it’s the most appetizing smell in the world! The smell of frying onions reminds me of home..Comfy and cozy home – a place where mom cooks the yummiest dishes , dad dispenses pearls of wisdom over a cup of chai , brother battles with me over the remote ( ya we still do that at our age ! ) and my sister and I exchange notes on fashion . Ah how I miss home!

Similarly, the smell of tea transports me to the time when I was in Pune living with my Grandma. I was working with Aptech as a counselor for about 3 months while I was waiting for my MBA admission. I used the famous tumtum ( six-seat auto to the uninformed ) for transport and on my way back, the auto stand which was next to a chai ki tapiri would get enveloped by a tantalizing smell of tea and frying pakodas and I would long to reach home to have my own cuppa .

The smell of lemons brings memories of my holidays in Sangli where my dad’s sister lived. She had a variety of fruit trees in her backyard including a lemon tree which produced oodles and oodles of lemons. My cousins and I had a gala time picking lemons, making nimbu paani, or just eating it with salt. Invariably, one of us would land up with a sore throat and my aunt would warn us from eating any more of those sour treats. But none of us cared and continued on our lemon eating spree much to her chagrin.

On to some commercial smells, the smell of Rasna reminds me of summers in Ludhiana where I grew up. I can visualize my brother and me on a hot summer afternoon, the fan on at its full capacity, reading Enid Blyton’s Famous Five and sipping on Rasna kala khatta .

Rooafzah again takes me back to a particular time when I had just started working after my MBA. I shared a flat with a few friends and we used to wash down our breakfast with Rooafzah. Not that we particularly enjoyed the taste but I had bought a bottle in a bust of health consciousness and was stuck with it, so my friends chipped in to finish off my misery quickly. Thank God for good friends !

Commercial or non commercial, it’s always wonderful to be transported to a place and time you left behind , Isn’t it?

Copyright(C) 2009 Neha Shinde