Clinic Casualties !

It's strange how sometimes you write a bit on something , then work and life takes precedence and you totally forgot about it. Here's another post I had written probably a couple of years ago.

The past 10 days have confined me to limited space (a single bed) , limited activities ( checking office mails/replying them and internet surfing) ,limited food ( soups, milk, soups, milk , eggs, khichidi , milk ) and unlimited medicines, thanks to a bacterial infection that caused havoc in Yours Truly’s body by way of fever,throat pain and severe cough !

My mysterious malady, bought me in touch with two of my greatest fears, the hypodermic syringe and extraction of blood!

Well, it so happened that since my adamant fever refused to come down , my doctor suggested a blood test to rule out typhoid and malaria , which was a very noble act except for the naked fact that I have an irrational fear for the syringe and the sight of blood makes me weak . Now couple the two and I have a problem that makes the Iraq bombing look like fluffy clouds.

But doctor's orders are like the ten commandments that have to be obeyed at any cost ! And so I dragged my heavy feet on a bright Friday morning to Appollo Clinic to accomplish this mammoth task. My sister tagged along for moral support , which was lower than the sensex on 'Black Tuesday' .

To begin with things went pretty smooth, the medical attendant seated me comfortably in a chair and then tied my arm with a band to tighten the nerves. Then he dabbed some spirit on my arm and that did it ! That pungent smell unleashed a wimpy & weird creature in me that comes alive in such medical situations. I am not proud of it but I think I outdid Rakhi Saawant with my hysterics. I tried everything under the sun to evade that dreaded injection, right from pretend-fainting bouts to bribing the medical attendant to intimidating him. But the man was unmoved while my sister quickly moved to the end of the room and pretended she was with not with me.

After much deliberation and discussions, we finally decided on a fool proof plan. The medical attendant would be as gentle as possible, my sister would sing ‘Amazing Grace’ and I would try and allow them to do their jobs. I tightly screwed my eyes close and said those magical 3 words ‘Let us begin’.

Well, the room was flooded with a beautiful stream of ‘Amazing Grace’ with some occasional off-key notes contributed by me in my attempt to distract myself. Finally, towards the end of ‘Was blind, but now I see’ I opened my eyes and saw that the job was done with the Attendant triumphantly holding a syringe full of dark red liquid that once ran freely through my veins.
We all looked at each other with a look that must have been on Neil Amstrong’s face when he landed on the moon! Well, the medical attendant also had a look of relief on his face!

Some people conquer nations and scale mountains, I ,on the other hand braved the terrors of a clinic and returned shaken but wise ! Okay, I was exaggerating about the wise part !

So the next time you visit your doctor’s clinic remember Yours Truly and her brave exploits! And if it's Appollo Clinic, you might not want to mention me. I am not exactly popular there !!!

IPL

Wrote this bit long ago. Found it while 'spring cleaning' my computer . I am a firm believer that a piece of lace and an article written should not be wasted. So here you go..

IPL is everywhere!

I am not into cricket so you can understand my predicament!

I shudder at the word. I open the newspaper and there it is in big bold letters, I switch on the television and every news channel seems to be covering it. I turn to my friends for conversation and all they talk about is IPL.

I fail to understand this obsession with IPL or cricket for that matter! As if that were not enough there comes more confusion on the Tharoor controversy which I am trying to follow.

Don’t our hard working, tax paying and corruption bearing countrymen have better things to do? The Sania-Sohaib saga was a refreshing respite from this cricket mania, but now that Sania, Sohaib and Ayesha are appeased, its back to boring !

Well, I did try to get a hang of it but the whole thing was too complicated for me to understand. So I sought the help of some cricket-buff friends of mine to get some aid in understanding the whole IPL thingie.

So the next time I met them at Barista and the conversation went crickety as it was bound to happen, I said ‘I don’t know why Modi is so upset about the whole thing, I mean Gujarat doesn’t even have a team. Right?’

TK & HK, the 2 cricket buffs I unfortunately got as friends looked at me blankly.

Looking at their puzzled faces, I elaborated,” I mean, what does Narendra Modi have against Sashi Tharoor ? Neither of them are cricketers. Why are they fighting?”

HJ nearly choked over his cafe latte and TK looked at me with a mixture of disgust and amazement. In fact, the couple next to us stared pointedly at me and then at each other in disbelief and the waiter looked at me with scientific interest.

Through it all I patiently waited for an answer.

“You idiot, its not the Gujarat CM is Lalit Modi” Spluttered TK as droplets of Swiss Mocha Frappe spotted the table.

"Oh, okay, what’s the big deal ? A Modi is a Modi- bound to create trouble whether its cricket or politics" I retorted feeling a little silly , especially since the waiter was now retelling my gaffe to his peers.

I suddenly felt like the Maroon Leaf Monkey at Bannerghatta National Park, except that the monkey gets free food and I had to pay for food and humiliation.

So much for trying to understand the gentleman’s game. *Sigh *.

Lesson Learnt? – More of ESPN and less of CNN.

And then..

(I wrote this bit for a 'complete the story' contest conducted by Yours Truly . The part in blue is the starting given for completion. It doesn't have a title but I call it 'and then' for want of a better title )

It was raining heavily, pouring down a welcome respite from the heat of the past week. Huddled under the small over crowded bus stand, I was waiting for the rain to let up so I could walk back to work when suddenly out of nowhere she came to me and then looked at me shyly. It isn’t often that somebody looks at me that way. Her damp soft brown hair glittered in the streetlight and her brownish grey eyes were soft and mellow. I wondered what such a pretty thing was doing at 9.00 pm in the night. She looked from a decent family. “Maybe it’s the rain”, I thought bitterly,” Brings out the best and worst in everyone. That’s why I am working this late in the evening, when I ought to be at home eating hot soup, all thanks to my manager”

My eyebrows contracted into a frown as I thought of my work place. Demanding, unappreciative and crazy to say the least. And then there was this particularly difficult project. “That’s the way the cookie crumbles, I guess” I sighed resignedly.

Pulling myself out of my sour reverie, I turned to look at her and my troubled face softened and I broke into a half smile, not sure of her reaction. She looked again; hesitantly and then slowly inched timidly towards me a little unsure, a little scared. The guy next to me suddenly spied her and turned to me and whispered “she’s beautiful, isn’t she?’. I felt a pang of jealousy, why should he look at her? I was the first one to notice her, wasn’t I and besides we already had a connection albeit a faint one.

I grunted and shifted my attention back to her, desperately hoping she would not lose interest in me. This time, I gave her a broad grin and in my sweetest voice crooned.” Hellooooooo”. She looked again this time more confidently and skipped close to me and whimpered a weak “meaooow” and then curling around my feet a stronger ‘meaoow’. I bend down and picked that ball of pretty golden brown fur and stroked it softly forgetting all the grouse and grumpiness of the day in that moment of sweetness.

‘My name is Kira and I live in the big red bungalow, next to the bus stop’, said the name tag around her neck.

“Yes Kira, the rain brings out the best and worst in people”, I thought and smiled to myself as I made my way to the bungalow to reunite its beautiful occupant.

Copyright (c) 2010 Neha

To Mom , With Love

As the world celebrates Mother’s Day, I get nostalgic about all that has passed in life and how my mom has been an integral part of it all.

So here’s a little post dedicated to my mom on Mothers Day.

The first word that comes to my mind when I think of my mom is ‘Enthusiastic’. She is probably one of the most enthusiastic people I have come across. Be it cooking a new recipe, or acting in a church play or planning a family meet for our geographically scattered family, I have seen her go about it with an enthusiasm that can be only matched by a child.

While growing up she was the force of discipline for me and my siblings. A firm believer of the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ philosophy, my brother and I were subject to several well deserved beatings while we were growing up. My sister, being born several years later was spared most of the spanking though there was the occasional rap on the knuckles. And today I am thankful to her for all the values she gave me which have been a guiding light to me in my journey of life.

But she is not all about discipline, she loves a good laugh and quite frankly quite filmy about things. She has some situational song always on her lips which annoys me to no end. Talking about singing, that’s something she never quite mastered, though she won’t admit it. I remember an instance when I was in junior college , my mom suddenly developed this craze to learn singing and would have her practice (riyaz). Once during her ‘riyaz’ I got a phone call from a friend, who after a few seconds asked “Who’s that screaming in the background ?’. Needless to say such uncharitable comments had no impact on the ‘Riyaz’ which continued in full swing.

As a child I was very shy, unobtrusive and retreating. But my mother through her constant preaching and nagging pulled me out of my shell and made me participate in activities and if today I have a lot of achievements and trophies in my kitty, I’d like to think mom had something to do with it.

But the greatest thing, I shall be eternally grateful to her is the faith she instilled in me. She taught me how not to ever give up on a God that never fails. And many times when I am disappointed with things and people, I often think of what my mom says. ‘He’s your Heavenly Father and He is better that your earthly parents. Talk to Him and tell Him everything.’ And whenever I do that I find my answers and peace!

So here’s wishing Happy Mother’s Day to one of the most wonderful, beautiful and unique mother in the world.

I LOVE YOU MAMMA!

The Shoania Saga !

‘So, Sania decided to walk into the sunset with Shoaib ! Big deal’, I thought as I folded the newspaper, drained my cup of coffee and headed for work.

Big deal. Two of the biggest understated words of the month if not the year. Turns out it was a big deal going by the reactions far and wide.

Pakistan welcomed it, India hated it, Ayesha complicated it, Shehrbano Rehman exploited it for her health ministry, NDTV debated it and Bal Thackeray, well he acted his usual self by condemning it just like he did North India, Sachin Tendulkar and the rest of the world.

Who would have thought a marriage would elicit so much response and emotion. Everyone from socialites to IT professional to panwalla and dhobis had their opinion on this.

A typical conversation with a group of friends went like this :

‘How dare she marry a Pakistani, Any one would have been ok but not a Pakistani’ said a friend who has a thing against our northern neighbor.

Another young male friend wistfully said” I mean couldn’t she find one guy in the whole of India? “
“I think she just used India and our facilities for her gain “roared a kurta clad patriotic friend.
A female friend spitefully said “I think she is overrated, I mean she only looks glamorous, she can’t really play you know?”

When I meekly mentioned she did win a couple of grand slams, I was given a piecing look that said ‘whose side are you on?’

Well, I am on the side that says ‘I DON”T CARE ‘.

Who cares whom she married and where she wants to stay, as long it’s not in my flat.

I think sometimes we appoint ourselves advocates and advisors to public personalities give a dozen advices on what should they ought to do.

I say, let it be, credit them with some freedom to take their own personal decisions.

Let them get on with their life and let’s get along with ours however glamous devoid it is !

It’s simpler that way, aint’t it?

Social Networking – The New Mantra!

( Wrote this bit for my corporate blog.. Its pretty simple and small)

A few years ago while I was still in business school ,I read an interesting snippet in the Times of India of how a businessman in Mumbai fell into a manhole and was rescued by a young woman. The businessman rushed off without as much as a word of thanks ,much to the surprise and indignation of those around. He later returned and profusely thanked his rescuer and explained the reason for his morning rush was that it was the last day to register for the Tata Yellow pages and he did not want to miss it.

Tata Yellow pages sure had its ‘fan list’ then!

Today, Facebook & Twitter is what Yellow Pages was to the numerous small and big business enterprises across the globe.

Social Networking is the new mantra! And there is no two ways about it.

An increasing number of businesses across industries are awakening to this indisputable fact. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that Social Networking as a business tool is past the initial teething problems and is in the growth stage in the Product Life Cycle.

A few interesting statistics to highlight my point:-
• 50 million non-college attendees use Facebook
• The professional social networking site LinkedIn grew 187% over the past year
• 85% of business owners participating in social media for business are doing so by way of blogging online
• 85% of social media users believe companies should interact with their consumers through social media outlets
• Six out of 10 Americans who use social media interact with companies on social media Web sites

Social Networking has made its presence in every facet of today’s organization. From branding & advertising to recruitment to relationship building, organizations actively use social networking as a strategic tool. In fact, I won’t be too surprised if companies soon start ‘tweeting’ their RFP & RFI. What started as a small internally focused initiative has now blown into a world-wide phenomenon that has changed the way we do business.

Like science-fiction writer William Gibson once said ‘The Future is here‘ Indeed the future of business interaction has arrived. And How!

When Rahul got married !

I have been disowned by my close friends! Mercilessly and ruthlessly disowned! And why ? Thou asketh... Well, in a moment of weakness I confessed to have followed the Swayambar of Rahul Mahajan!

Yes, I am ashamed and very ashamed too at the fact that I have religiously watched the Swayambar.

I personally blame Ekta Kapoor for this. I mean, why couldn’t she air more masaledar saas-bahu serials that would have prevented me from watching this self degrading program.

Anyways, it started with curiosity. When, I heard Rahul Mahajan (hereby referred to as RM) was planning a Swayambar, I was sure the applicants list wouldn’t cross 2 which included a certain Monica and Payal. However, the fact that there were a whooping 14,000 applicants made me sit up and take notice.

What boggled me is, why would anyone want to marry Rahul Mahajan in the first place? Weren’t there better ways of suffering and to top it all why do it on TV? I mean if you wanted to make a fool of yourself there were the numerous other ways- joining the MNS included.

Anyways, with such misgivings I started watching the swayambar and I must confess after its initial disappointment (it’s no match to the Rakhi Saawant swayambar) it’s a good evening time pass.

It’s both pathetic as well as hilarious watching these clueless women pretending to be head over heels in love with RM and even still funnier to watch RM trying to make conversation.

Something he never learnt in his entire 34 years of existence. And when he laughs his moronic laughter, you want to record it and use it for your next horror play.

I especially liked the episode of the elimination of one girl called Priyadarshini. I laughed my head off when I watched her exit interview. She glared into the camera with a fury which only a woman scorned can have and declared passionately “Rahul Mahajan, zindigi bhar mein kisi mard se pyar nahi kroongi” My roomie, for the first time probably understood the meaning of ROFL.

Anyways, amid the speculations of whether RM would actually marry someone or leave it at a Swayambar, he finally married the drama queen from Bengal, Dimpy Ganguly and put an evening of our entertainment to end!

Thanks Rahul Mahajan for all the entertainment and hope to see you on Emotional Atyachar soon!