Gate crashing a state dinner

So the Salahis' gate-crashed Obama’s State dinner?! Big deal!

Our politicians and celebrities back home have been gate-crashing not only private parties (How do you think Vivek Oberoi feeds himself ?) but numerous other social events without anyone raising an eyebrow and the MNS are not just gate-crashing but also crashing tables and chairs and human heads among other things.

It was the Salahis' impudent bid for fame so let’s give it to them. After all, it’s not really their fault that the security had loopholes and they managed to grab their chance of a lifetime. In fact, I think the ones most surprised must be the Salahis' themselves. I am sure they never dreamt they’d make it to the tent on the South Lawn of the White House, leave aside the president himself.

Well, they got their fame (or notoriety), their dollars (if they get the six-figure they are quoting for their first network television interview) or prosecution (if the secret service or senators decide to press charges).

We are unsure what happens to the Salahis' next, but some of the things that are bound to happen are:

-This incident having inspired many small time gate-crashers to think ‘big’ will result in a sudden surge of gate-crashes from a regional level to international level
-Ram Gopal Verma will want to visit the tent on the South Lawn of the White House to see if he can use it for his next movie.
-Osama Bin Laden will contemplate doing away with his beard and coloring his hair blond to try sneaking into the White House
-The morale of the Indian Police will be lifted (who said they are better than us! Amriki-hindi bhai bhai!)
-Obama will write another book called simply ‘The audacity’

So in a way this was an interesting experience for many.

The only person feeling sore about the whole thing is Manmohan Singh; His thunder was once again stolen by a ‘foreigner’!

Copyright (C) Neha Shinde 2009

Missing Mobiles

I lost my mobile phone. Again!

For those who know me well, I am sure it’s a kind of relief. Now you know I haven’t changed over the years. In fact, when I conveyed this to a few of my good friends, I got messages and mails congratulating me on my latest loss.

One of them went into throes of joy and mentioned how he made money by betting on me losing my phone this year. Yet another suggested that I tie up with a mobile company for a regular supply of mobile phones.

For those of you who have randomly stumbled upon this blog and are wondering what the fuss is all about - I have a knack of losing mobile phones.

Not a year has passed without me losing a phone either through my own carelessness of the vile nature of some specimens of humans I have encountered.

Till date I have lost 6 phones. Here are the statistics….

2 were stolen from my hostel/flat ,I left 2 in the autos, 1 was unwillingly contributed to the city of Chennai when I left it in a hotel lobby and 1 was audaciously snatched from me while I was on the phone on my way home.

6 phones, 6 stories and 6 different reactions. From crying heartbrokenly the first time I lost it to nonchalantly making my way to the nearest Nokia showroom after realizing my loss... I have come a long way.

There was a time when I nearly lost my phone but it was a false alarm! I was on my yearly Christmas trip to Pune last year and on the last day of my stay, went to get some ‘bhakarwadis’ for my friends back in Bangalore. When I reached home I realized my phone was missing, my brother knowing my mobile history promptly went and bought me another phone. As I was checking-in my luggage at the Pune airport, the airline official requested me to remove my phone from my bag. That’s when I realized that cunning little instrument was neatly snuggling under a kurta !

But, through it all I have been very brand loyal. Nokia, Nokia & Nokia all the way! Not once did I think of switching to Sony or Motorola. I could actually feature as Nokia’s most patronizing customer! And I am most willing to accept a token of appreciation in the form of their latest model, which I will in due course of time dutifully lose.

Anyways, that my mobile story. For more updates, watch out this space a year later!

Copyright (c) 2009 Neha Shinde

Shifting houses and a discovery

I recently shifted places, moved from my PG accommodation to a shared flat.

I came to Bangalore with a huge suitcase, 3 bags and a guitar.

Today I have 1 huge suitcase, 12 bags and a guitar!

And this guitar is not the one that accompanied me on a Saturday afternoon on SpiceJet couple of years ago. It and it's immediate successor met with sad demises in my old residence.

But we are deviating; the focus here is on the 12 bags!

I am still trying to figure out how my luggage multiplied so quickly !

And I end up with one word – Shopping!

Weekend shopping sprees, impulsive shopping, shopping when I am bored, shopping when I go out to assist friends in shopping, Shopping when I feel like it, Shopping when I don’t feel like it…

Now, I am on a clothes donating spree, mercilessly fishing stuff out of those 12 bags and making mental allocations.

But some things are hard to let go of...

Like my old party clothes which I have accumulated thanks to my MBA theme parties and the thousand other parties I was a part of owing to the enterprise called ‘socializing’. I know I may not wear them again but they are so attractive and cost me a pretty penny, I just don’t want to give them to any random person. As a result, I am still on the outlook of someone who will appreciate them.

Then there are the thousand books I have picked up over the few years in Bangalore. Management books, biographies, gospel literature, novels, interesting magazines …all of them find their way to my table. And I hate giving away books!

I also have little things that have some sentimental value attached to it...Like the name tag of the first international conference I gave a presentation in Bangalore, the palm leaf cross I made on Palm Sunday, a beautiful wooden keychain a friend made and gifted me, A embroidered handkerchief my sister made for me.

Some many such things , no wonder my luggage looks like a combination of Barnes & Nobles and Walmart.

I am looking forward to the day when I shall be back to 3 bags.

Till that day arrives, I think I visit Lifestyle to lighten the spirit …

Copyright (c) 2009 Neha Shinde

An unexpected rain shower

Yesterday, we had an unexpected shower of rain in Bangalore. It was amazing ! Since the past couple of days we’ve been enjoying an incredible weather.There’s a little chill mixed with the damp air and just the right amount of freshness.

I’ve been rushing often to our rooftop cafeteria just to feel the cool breeze and watch the traffic below. I am a little concerned that the café guy might think that I am totally jobless, but it isn’t often you get such wonderful weather at this time of the year.

I love this city. With its funny idiosyncrasies, its cosmo lifestyle, cheap eateries and expensive restaurants. It's traffic...It's never-ending Traffic!

I love it's Sukh and Shanti sagars !

I love it that there is a place for everyone here no matter where you come from; I love it that there are no Thackerays here claiming it for their own. I love the young call center and IT professionals eagerly crowding Forum & Garuda malls on weekends.

I love its crosses and mains ! Its parallel roads and thousand alleys.

I am learning to love its auto drivers ! Learning ..

I love it that when you stand on MG road, you’ll hear a babble of tongues muttering at least half a dozen languages.

And I love it even more even more when it rains at unpredictable times!


copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

Das, our friend

I was talking to a friend the other day and he said something very interesting -“some friends are forever and some come for a season”

Das probably came for a quarter of a season.

There was a time in Pune, when I was waiting for my MBA admission and had nothing to do, so I took up a filler job at Aptech as a counselor. It was a branch office and thus a very small establishment with just a handful of staff including, Das who was the office boy. Well, boy would be a misrepresentation since he was married with a 3 year old daughter.

Since it was a pastime job, seriousness had not set in me. In fact all of us working there were young and doing this as a stop gap arrangement.

The center was recently established and IT as an indstry was going through a slowdown, so we didn’t get too many students and had plenty of time to ourselves. We used to have a gala time exchanging stories and experiences during lunch time and tea time.

That’s when Das’s skills as a story teller would surface and he would enthrall us with his various past experiences including one as a movie theater projectionist. He had a very animated face and did an excellent job of imitating people that had us in splits.

One of my fondest memory of the place is, the whole gang sipping on chai and eating Parle G biscuits while listening to Das narating an exciting story.

Though he was an office boy, he was extremely intelligent. In fact, he learned MS office just by listening to the lectures we conducted for our students and practicing in the lab. He spoke reasonably good English and loved going out. He would always turn up in the flashiest of clothes for any outing we had. He was all for fun and adventure.

Soon I moved out of Aptech and so did most of the gang, we tried keeping in touch via emails and phone calls (this was before Facebook took over the cyber space) but it’s not always that easy and soon drifted apart.

But thanks to a friend’s initiative of reconnecting, we got back in touch and that's when I came to know that Das had passed away a year ago. He was dancing in some Ganesh procession, got a heart attack and died.

Just like that.

Sometimes I feel sad that none of us were there at his funeral or with his family in their grief. But then, I console myself with the thought that the last image of Das in my mind will always be that of a slightly plump man with an infectious grin and an expressive face recounting yet another of his numerous fables.

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

A tryst with destiny !

They say opportunity knocks only once and it’s often when you are taking your afternoon siesta.

My chance of a lifetime slipped by me, a few years ago when I was doing my MBA in Pune.

One boring day, my classmate and I decided to play hookey and go for an afternoon of shopping on MG road.

After a couple of hours of making our wallets lighter and our backpacks heavier, we headed towards Marz-o-rin, the sandwich place for a bite.

We were walking through the lonely lane adjacent to Marz-o-rin and as usual, I was talking nineteen to dozen with my friend R, who was patiently (and I suspect inattentively) listening. It was while I was in the middle of a passionate plea for improving the kanda pohe served in our college canteen, R suddenly stiffened and gasped.

After a second, she grasped my hand, gave one glance backwards and whispered, “Did you see him?” Seeing my blank look she whispered more urgently “It’s HIM, Sanjay Leela Bansali ! He just walked past us “. Well, she actually said “ Sanjay Leela Bengali” in her excitement. But Bansali is a Bengali so, I’ll let it pass.

I turned around and saw the back profile of a man with a Marz-o-rin bag in his hand. But I had serious doubts that the famous director would be roaming the streets of Pune on a sunny afternoon and conveyed that to R. But she insisted “Don’t you see, he also has a pierced ear, that’s him definitely”. “Maybe someone who looks like him” I replied still unconvinced.

Then I did something that R still hates me for. I cupped my hands and in the direction of the retreating figure yelled “Yoooooooooooooooo, Sanjay Leela Bansali , are you ? Bansali Bansali, I don’t think so “.The figure stopped, turned halfway, (Enough to let me know it WAS the famous director) turned back and walked away.

Stunned for a moment, we slowly made our way to Marz-o-rin and found the whole place in a flurry. (This was just after Devdas was released, so the hype was understandable). Many of them had his autograph and all that.

R gave me a pained look, and unhappily commented if I had not made such an idiot of myself in front of the director, we’d probably be admiring our autographs right now and boasting about meeting Bansali to our future generations and maybe also starring in a Bansali movie as a Bansali discovery. I had a tough time convincing her that I was not out to sabotage her film career and finally pacified her by giving her my favorite silver hoop earrings she admired.

Well, R is happily married now , Bansali discovered Sonam Kapor and poor me has only a 'near-meeting' with Bansali in my kitty.

So, in case you meet the man, tell him he owes me a pair of silver earrings !

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde

A Noble Thought

Just when you thought Europe had turned over a new leaf and had given up playing practical jokes, here comes another one- Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize!

Not that I am complaining, It’s been a while since I accepted the indubitable fact that it’s not a perfect world. If Bill Gates can receive the Indira Gandhi Peace Prize why grudge the man his Nobel.

The unabashed sycophants that we are, we decided to meet the man himself and get his reactions on this surprise win.

Over to MS, our corrospondent at the White House…

MS: Congratulations, Mr. President. This is another notable achievement in your political career. How do you feel?

Obama: To be honest, I don’t even know how I got there. A few months ago, I was filling some forms which I thought were for a free trip to an amusement park called ‘Notably Noble’. The kids wanted to go somehwere and I figured this was a good place.The next thing I know is I get a Nobel prize ! I tell you, my staff is so careless.

But of course, my advisers tell me my official stance is, “I am deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel committee”, about whom you must tell me more about someday.

MS: Well, anyways it worked out good for America. A lot of people think you are not a worthy recipient. What’s your take on it?

Obama: What nonsense, who is more worthy than me? I am THE orator; in fact my wife calls me orator Obama. Actually, she also calls me sugar baby , but I am not getting into that. Anyways, my speeches are just what people want to hear. In fact, I am a tad annoyed that I did not get the nobel prize for literature as well. My book ‘Audacity of Hope‘really deserves more respect that what it’s getting.

MS: Talking about your wife, what does she think?

Obama: Hehe Michelle rarely thinks. I thought she made it pretty clear by her earlier speeches. But yes she thinks we need new bed spreads and our living room lighting could do with some enhancement, not to mention the garden design. She also insists on a wardrobe change, which I think a lady has a right to. Yes, she is excited about the million dollars.

MS: After the Noble, what does Obama aspire?

Obama: The Grammy of course , you should hear me sing in the shower ! I rock, baby I rock!

Yes ...You do rock Mr. President! You rock !

Copyright(c) 2009 Neha Shinde