Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Perils of a Puneite in Bangalore

Since my arrival in Bangalore about ten months ago I have often encountered the question “So, how do you find Bangalore? How is it compared to Pune?” I find the very question intimidating, especially the comparison part. It’s almost like asking “So, how do you think our left eye is as compared to your left hand or right ear ?”. Me I like ‘em all, yes, I do have something against my tummy, which has the highly distressing habit of deeply rumbling right in the middle of a lecture and more recently office meetings, but those are matters of less importance and I think I’ll live with it.

Coming back to the all important question how is it for a Punite in Bangalore? Thinking about it, I decided to post this as an answer to all those questions in the past and to those questions which are yet to come.

Well, for starters I detest Bangalore Autos!! Yes, you heard me right I do detest them, not the machine as much as the person operating it. And I am sure they detest me in return. It’s mutual, which is a relief in one way coz this hate business is rather difficult to carry one sided. And I have my reasons; I am yet to meet an autowala who doesn’t behave like a rantipole.

I had an early taste of their malicious nature. I happened to miss my company bus on my very second day in Bangalore, and instead of waiting like any normal person would for the next bus, I foolishly ventured out to make it on my own. Suicide I tell you! Well, with the help of a kindly soul, whom I met at the local bus stop in Electronic city, I somehow made it till Silk Board, and I decided to take an auto from there. I have a firm belief that these auto people do have an uncanny sense of smelling out people who are non -Bangaloreans Anyways, I asked an autowala to take me to the desired location and he unblinkingly said “Rs 140 madam” Beggers cannot be choosers they say and I agreed, but before I could even get into his sacred auto he suddenly turned around and said “Madam udhar ja kar 30 Rs extra” Boy did I see red ! I refused not only his ride, but also gave him a sound lecture on how he was spoiling the image of a beautiful city. Not that he cared. For him all I resembled was a piece of paper with a waterline, the image of the father of the nation and a promise from the governor of RBI. Ufff!! I have had many such encounters with these machine men and now it more like who trounces whom. With so much training I could have taken up Law if not the Army!!!

Anyways, with travel taken care of, my next experience was with accommodation. Not only do I find accommodation in Bangalore expensive, but also highly cramped. During my first week, my sister and I went looking for good PG accommodation in Kormangala. Of course, finding a needle in a haystack would have been easier. We tried BTM, Kormangala, Indiranagar without much luck. Nothing could please us moderately. I still shudder at the kind of places we were shown. It’s unbelievable! There was a place where a bathroom was converted into a room!! The lady went great lengths to explain how wonderful was it to live there and even agreed to reduce the rent, but then who wants to live in a Bathroom!!! Disappointment enveloped us. Finally we came up with a solution . Mission “Find it and Rent it was brought into action “That was all what was on our mind. With that new found mission we were again ready for combat.

Thankfully, by God’s grace and admag's help , I found a place that was not only clean and hygienic but also centrally located, with a lovely balcony. So all’s well that ends well! But sometimes I still see that lady’s face as she earnestly tried to convince me that a bathroom was a room after all.

The next logical item in the sequence of things: Food. Thankfully, I love south Indian food, and so I kind of gorge myself on Idlies, Dosas, Bisse Bele Bath, Curd rice, Rasam rice and all those goodies. I am a rice eater so Bangalore is a food haven for me. Of course there are still times when I crave for Poha, Vada Pav, Missal Pav and Pav Bhaji. I haven’t yet found a place that makes decent pav bhaji and the rest of the above items are out of question. But I have found a couple of places where I get great Malyalee food and I was recently introduced to Coorg style by a friend and boy did I love that!!

Coming to the final element (if there is ever such thing) , THE LANGUAGE !!! Now, I have stayed in Belgaum for a few years , so I understand a few kannad words , but the dialect here is very different from that of Belgaum or North Karnataka. And of course there is the slight resistance to speak Hindi , by the locals which is just fine with me as my Hindi is also nothing to write home about. I have the typical Mumbaya way of talking that would make a Hindi lover blush if not have murderous thoughts. But I love the statement ”Chill Maadi “ Its a concoction of English and Kannada which I have termed “ Kanglish “ a statement enough to make you forget all about those horrid ‘autofellas ‘and bathroom woes and feel great ..So whatever the problem chill maadi !!

Which brings me to one of my favorite muse.. People,. People, I believe are same all over irrespective of the geography or culture. Bangaloreans are gentle people with a lot of pride for their culture. Sometimes , I feel they resent their city been invaded by outsiders, a dilemma faced by every expanding metro , but being the hospitable people that they are , they are quick to adjust to the changes and open their hearts and houses ( and bathrooms heh heh ) to us. Some are good and some are bad , like I said earlier the fabric is the same for all of us it’s only the color and pattern that differ.

But nothing beats the weather, which is simply amazing. Just the right temperature and the freshness is striking. It’s a lovely feeling early in the morning, on my way to the bus pick up point, as I see elderly couples taking their morning walk, or late nights as I come back from work when I see youngersters hanging out at different juice junctions and eat outs, or on Sundays when on my way to church I see a lone jogger with an ipod in one hand and water bottle in another on the ring road that connects Kormangala to Indiranagar, or the numerous ‘narayial paniwalas’ I see scattered all across the town. That’s’ when I realize why Bangalore is what it is. It’s that moment when I want to look up in the sky, feel the breeze on my face and say “namm Benguluru rocks

Copyright (c) 2007 Neha Shinde

Monday, July 16, 2007

Fashion !!

Fashion, I have come to a sad realization, is something I will never fully comprehend.

My earlier attempts to understand this highly complex logy has left me completely exhausted and utterly devastated, that I have taken up the comparatively bird brained game of chess to alleviate the despair.

The point that bothers me most is the fickleness of the whole thing. A particular style barely gets to make an entrance on stage that you have nine others waiting in the wings for their moment of glory. Fickle. ever so fickle!!

Probable this feeling stems from an incident that caused me much pain and which still haunts me. It was our annual college party . The importance of the day could not be overemphasized . The day when every one got to make a lasting impression on the Junta.

Well, I decided to come out of my hermit existence and my literary world and be a part of the crowd. It was of course at a time when I was naïve enough to think that I could master this seemingly simple game of fashion. I browsed through every style magazine I could lay my ink stained hands on and with the indispensable advice from Raji, our college style guru, I came to the conclusion that bell sleeves and orange colour was the flavor of the season. Elementary aint’t it ?!! I used up my allowance which I had saved for Shakespeare’s Hamlet( Shakespeare, I figured was dead since 1616 and could wait for another two months) to buy an orange bell sleeved shirt with intricate embroidery on the sleeves. I even got a 20 % discount on it which was more that what I could ask for.

On the day of the party , feeling extremely confident, I entered the hall and got a bigger shock than what probably Sushmita Sen got when she won the Miss Universe title. Every being , human and otherwise was dressed in black . Well, with the exception of Mohan , the college peon who turned up in a yellow kurta , but then Mohan was considered to be the worst dressed person in India after Govinda and was of no comfort to me. And yes the sleeves were nowhere near my flag post. They were closely cut into what I later came to know as mega sleeves.

I felt all eyes on me and a couple of them boring my head from behind. I suddenly wished I had Anil Kapoor’s magical watch he wore in Mr. India. I desperately sought out Raji, who looked cool in a black and gray outfit with yes , you guessed it MEGA SLEEVES!!! “Whatever happened to you?” she exclaimed looking at me as though I was Spielberg’s ET. “I thought this is what the world in general is wearing “ I muttered trying to evade those piercing eyes. Hah ! for the simple life of an amoeba!” It was babes, till last week. Don’t you watch Star Plus? Ever since Manish Malhotra expressed his views on bell sleeves and the orange and green colour , they are to be avoided like the pariah. Black is THE COLOR and mega sleeves rock!! Now, if you’ll excuse me , I can’t be seen hanging around an orange flag. I have a reputation to protect”

Well, that was the end of my social life ( not that it was all that great to begin with) for the next six months and it was just not funny being called ‘Rasna Nagpur Orange’ a name that still sticks.

Once bitten, twice shy. Shakespeare has his sweet revenge and I returned back to my world of Keats, Shakespeare and Wordsworth and have tried to stay there since.

And for all you unfortunate ones , trying to get a foothold on this unstable domain of colours and patterns , my only advice is WATCH STAR PLUS…


Copyright (c) Neha Shinde